FYI: Toddler Feet Grow

I know!  This is a revelation I have decided to share with you all because I believe in imparting the important lessons I've learned being a mother with my fellow mothers.  When we took Elsa to get new shoes on Saturday, I knew she was overdue.  But I had no idea just HOW overdue she was.  We bought Elsa her first pair of shoes when she starting walking at 12 months.  Then her cousin handed down two pairs of shoes, a pair of pink Stride Rite shoes and a pair of sparkly silver TOMS that quickly became Elsa's favorite.  Until her da-da bought her a pair of shiny black patent leather shoes to wear at Christmas.  After that, I would pull out her brown and pink pairs of Stride Rite shoes only to meet cries of "NOOOO!" and frantic moves toward the closet to find her other shoes.  It was only the silver sparkly TOMS and the black shiny dress shoes after that, no matter what she was wearing.

Since she has been wearing the same pairs of shoes for an embarrassingly long time, we took her to St. Louis landmark Laurie's to get this little lady a new pair of kicks for the summer.  And let me tell you, I wanted to melt into the floor and spill out the front door when the lady measured her feet.  I wondered if the people who work at Laurie's ever report parents for neglect when they bring their kid in wearing shoes two sizes too small.  In my defense, the pair we bought her were slightly large and so technically, she was only wearing shoes 1.5 sizes too small.  I have probably permanently damaged her feet and now she will forever have bunions and ingrown toenails, all because of me.  Sigh.  Well, here's the photographic proof.  The shoe in the middle is her new pair.  Mother of the year, right here.  Please tell me I'm not the only one who has crammed her kid's feet into the wrong sized pair of shoes?



On the bright side, she loves her new shoes so much, she hasn't asked for the old pairs at all.  She just might appreciate the new feeling of actually being able to stretch her entire foot and all of her toes out rather than curling her feet to fit into the shoes her monster mother pulls out every morning.

Where Has the Time Gone?

Hi out there!  Is anyone still reading?  Other than the spammers who apparently like to target inactive blogs? Things have been quietly moving along in my world.  The little lady is now 18 months.  Eighteen months!!!  She is saying new words every day, climbing like crazy, and is overall a very happy girl.  You know what makes her mom happy?  After six months or so of pre-6:00 wake-ups, she has been consistently sleeping until at least 6:00 pretty much every day since Easter weekend.  It's been GLORIOUS!  I feel more rested than I have since being pregnant.  On the weekend, I'm actually productive instead of feeling like I need to nap every chance I get.  I know there are some (crazy) people who get up at like 4:30 every day to work out or whatever and I just cannot seem to function when I get up before 6:00.  I can't tell you how my mood has improved since getting quality sleep.  Sleep is everything, people!  Right?

The one-year anniversary of defending my dissertation was this past week and I took some time to reflect.   As agonizing as it was to finish grad school, especially since I wrote my dissertation while Elsa was a newborn, I am so happy I stuck it out.  Now that I'm nine months into my job, I am just so grateful that the position opened up when it did.  I really do love my job.  It's challenging and rewarding and I not only really enjoy my coworkers and my boss, but I actually look forward to corresponding with all the people I deal with on a daily basis.  This is quite the 180 from grad school when I avoided contact with other human beings as much as possible.  Despite my fear of public speaking, I'm actually looking forward to going to the six (!) conferences that are on the books this year and meeting people and talking to them about what we do.  So, Portland, Jacksonville, Seward, KC, and Salt Lake City, here I come in 2013!

Because Jason and I work our asses off all week and because Elsa is in bed by 7:00 every night, we try our best to maximize the time we have on weekends.  That time is reserved for family, as best we can, and exploring all that St. Louis has to offer.  And now, a photo dump of some of the activities we've enjoyed in the last few months.

We have visited the park in the snow.



So that these two guys could have some fun!  You didn't think I forgot about them, did you?









We played in the snow at home too.



And sometimes after a good romp in the snow, you just need to hop in the shower to warm up.



One of our favorite places to visit is the zoo.  The new sea lion exhibit is spectacular.





And then THIS happened!  Orangutans are one of my favorite animals and the docents there said that this male, Robie, loves kids.  So, we allowed Elsa to go say hi to him.  My heart melted.



We also took lots more trips to the park.





And just sitting with friends.



Little miss fearless going down head-first.







And then more snow!  We got around 10 inches in late March.  Elsa helped her dad shovel a little bit.





But it was more pleasant for everyone to bring the snow inside and play in our jammies.





Levi wanted to make sure we weren't playing with real food.



And since Elsa showed Levi, she had to show Neptune too.





Neptune tries to figure out how to eat a snowball.



But mostly he wants to know when we are all going to go cuddle on the couch together.



And two weeks later, all the snow was gone and it was warm and sunny.  Just like that!



It's just as much fun to stay in your jammies and play in the backyard as it is to play with snow in the shower.





Thank goodness the grass is finally growing because Neptune's fondness for rolling means our house is constantly littered with dead grass.



Kisses for the Tuna.



Oh yeah, we celebrated Easter too.





So, you can see that we've been keeping busy.  I hope that I am going to blog more often because I just like to have that little record of my thoughts and activities as time goes by.  Is anyone else out there losing that bloggin' feeling?

Where Did January Go?

Holy cow, it's almost February.  Did anyone else just lose the entire first month of 2013?  I worked a lot this month.  I mean, a lot, a lot.  Like, until 2:30 AM one night a lot.  This is a really busy time of year for my department because some of the research projects we work on can only be done in January and February, so it's basically two months of insanity while we try to cram it all in.  Luckily, my involvement is over after tomorrow.  And then I spend the next 11 months recovering before I do it all over again.  I must add that I chose to be involved in this project and so I am not complaining.  I get to do lab work instead of computer work, learn a technique that is completely new to me, and be a part of something that is truly hands-on conservation.  It's awesome.  Thanks to Jason for holding down the fort while I've worked late so many nights.  I owe him big time.

When I haven't been working at night, I've been binging on "Downton Abbey" episodes. I no longer think that people who pronounce it Downton are just trying to be pretentious because now I know that is how it is spelled.  I'm a dumbass.  What we realized in all of those hours of viewing is that Downton Abbey, or Highclere Castle, is indeed, Levi's million dollar house.  

Levi's Million Dollar House

Now we realize even more why he acts like such a diva all the time and keeps roaming around looking for the bell to ring to call us to attention.  Where is his tea?  His valet to set out his white tie dressing attire?  His footman to serve his multi-course dinners?  No wonder he hates us.

We gave him yet another reason last week.  He has had this blood blister on his chest for quite some time.  The vet has told us it's nothing to worry about, but that she can remove it if we want.  We got him a harness so our poor dog walker doesn't have to fear for her life if he sees a cat on their walks and the harness rubs him right on that spot.  Even though we sleep with a protective sheet over our fancy duvet cover, Levi bled all over the sheet and basically ruined the duvet cover.  So, time to get it removed.  That happened last Friday.  It doesn't seem to bother him too much.



Besides, he has Neptune and Neptune's perpetually sad face to remind him that his life isn't so bad after all.

"Fuck My Life"

Right before all the craziness with work started, Elsa brought home the third stomach bug since August.  In case you're keeping track, Mary is 3/3 for stomach bugs, Elsa is 2/3, and Jason is also 2/3.  Lucky me.  Poor Elsa was really sick this time.  Thank goodness for my mom who helped out (and got sick as a result) so that Jason and I didn't miss as much work.  Then I got sick and missed my first full day of work since I started in July.  It was brutal.  I really understand the meaning of violently ill now.  

Because I've been gone so much, I've been soaking up my time with Elsa.  She is crazy!  She turned 15 months in January and what an age.  She understands so much of what we tell her and she has so many words: da-da, ma-ma, uh-oh, more (word and sign), woo woo (for dog), this, nigh-nigh (for bedtime) bath (sign), bye-byes (yes, with the "s" on the end), hi, ba-ba (bottle), rawr (lion and tiger sound), vroom (car), boom.  I'm sure I'm forgetting some.  But, we've also entered the full toddler phase which unfortunately comes along with temper tantrums.  Fun times!  

We have had some really nice weather recently, so we took her to the Loop Ice Carnival one Saturday.







And to the playground, which she just loves.  She's pretty fast, so we have to really move to keep up with her.  She's a little daredevil!











Elsa also recently started imaginary play, pretending to feed her dolls.  Here she is cleaning her doll's "piggies."



The dogs also get in on this action because sometimes someone is calling Neptune on the play phone and Elsa has to put it up to him to answer.  Unfortunately, I don't have a photo of that.  Yet.  This picture is pretty sweet, though.



Sorry for the randomness of this post, but I just wanted to do a quick catch-up.  I hope everyone had a good start to 2013!

Musings on My One-Year Postpartum Body

I'm sure you can tell from the title of this post that I've been meaning to write this for awhile.  I've wanted to talk about the changes that occurred in my body since Elsa was born, how long it took to REALLY get back to my former body and how my attitude toward my body has dramatically changed.  You might have heard the old adage "nine months on, nine months off."  That was pretty true for me.  I gained 30lb while pregnant and I didn't expect it to disappear overnight.  I've posted these photos before, but if you need a reminder, here is what I looked like when I first got pregnant:



And I looked like this at 39w pregnant:



By three weeks postpartum, I had lost nearly all the weight I gained, but my body was definitely not the same:



I struggled to fit into my clothes for some time.  I had a major muffin top and it took just about nine months for things to settle back into place.  Here I am 10.5 months postpartum (in my industrial strength sports bra that I love) when I, for the first time, really felt like I was as close to my pre-pregnancy body as I was going to get:



It was right about that time that my milk supply tanked and I'm not sure if that had something to do with it.  I hear your body hangs onto those last few pounds until you wean (which hasn't totally happened yet).  It was also right around that time I developed a ravenous appetite and I could tell something was changing within my body.  I was new at my job and I'm sure bringing food rather than grazing all day at home helped too. 

Post-pregnancy, I didn't work out like I thought I would.  I was struggling to finish a PhD while taking care of a newborn.  I was very stressed out and tired.  I quit my gym last February because I knew I wouldn't have time to go.  I had about three months between finishing school and starting my job.  I did a few months of weekly pilates classes during that time, which was great.  Then I started my job and had to adjust to my new schedule and was lucky to work out one or two times a week.  Yup, I went from a person who worked out 5-6 times/week before pregnancy and probably 3-5 days/week during pregnancy to being almost completely sedentary.  Not even dog walking because Jason would cover that.  Who was this person?

I figured out that I had to change my expectations.  While I used to scoff at a 3-4 mile run, that's what I can fit in these days, so it's the norm.  My prime time to run is on my lunch hour.  I have just enough time to get in  just under four miles and to take a quick shower.  Luckily, I can eat at my desk after lunch, which allows me to do other things during my actual lunch break.  I am also trying to go to yoga more often and my goal for 2013 is to do some weight training and ab work in our upstairs sunroom off the bedroom.  Nothing crazy, in keeping with my changing expectations.  Twenty or 30 minutes a few times a week.  The room was my dissertation writin' room and I want to make positive memories in there now.

So, these days I can fit into jeans I couldn't fit into when I got pregnant.  But, I'm not toned anymore.  At all.  But I'm really okay with that.  I really don't expect to look like I did pre-pregnancy because I simply don't have the same amount of time to devote to exercise.  I mean, I feel pretty great about my body.  My priorities have completely changed recently.  I have so very little precious free time to spend with Elsa, I am not going to spend them obsessing about my body.  I work out when she's sleeping.  And I'm sure as hell not going to sacrifice sleep at this point to exercise.  I'm still really tired, dammit!

 I want to be healthy, not skinny.  As a female, Elsa will unfortunately be pressured to conform to what society deems an acceptable body type.  I want to be a positive role model for her.  I want to her to enjoy walking the dogs as a family, teach her that food is not the enemy, and that exercise can be used to feel good rather than to look thin.  I'm definitely not perfect and am insecure about some things, but I just try to keep in mind all of the things I have going on, all the people and critters I have a responsibility to, and cut myself some slack.  

I should also mention that I haven't dieted through any of this because Elsa and my breastfeeding relationship has been so important to me and I didn't want to do anything that might hurt my supply.  That doesn't mean I eat cookies all day (well, sometimes I do, especially these last few weeks) because I do enjoy cooking and eating healthy food.  But I definitely don't skip meals like I used to and I enjoy things like tater tots and ice cream more regularly than I would have allowed myself in the past.

I do have some goals this year.  Mainly, to run an average of 12 miles/week.  I think that is a manageable amount.  I could say I want to run 20 or even 15 miles/week this year, but I know that's unattainable for me at this point.  I want to run a few races and not expect to PR at any of them.  In fact, I ran a 10K in October in 56 minutes, a good five minutes slower than my PR.  But look at what I had waiting for me at the finish line!



And weekend trips to the zoo with this little munchkin are a lot more satisfying than two hours at the gym.  Thirty minute runs free up a lot of time to spend with this little lady.



Any other new moms out there have a new lease on life, so to speak, when it comes to body image?  Moms of girls, are you nervous about raising a girl in a thin-obsessed society?