War on Mice!

So, we have mice.  Yes, it's gross.  When we first realized we had them, I insisted we use humane traps so that we could release them.  Now I would club one to death if given the chance.  When we find one hidey-hole, we set traps and they pack their bags and move to another one.  It's not like an infestation; there seems to be just enough of them to be a nuisance.  I keep telling myself "this is the last one" when we catch one.  I also tell myself all the ones we've killed are bachelor brothers or spinster sisters, unable to reproduce with one another because that would mean there might be an end to them someday.  But who am I kidding?  They spend all day fucking each other and making more babies to make my life hell.


We killed one around two months ago and Jason has been diligently setting and checking all the traps and we hadn't seen any evidence of them.  But now there's a new one and I'm telling you that this little asshole is smarter than Jason and I.  It's a black one too, a new superstrain of mouse that laughs at us when we bait our piddly traps and wait for them to snap.  It comes out in the evening when we get the birds out.  It hangs out in their room and eats their food off the ground.  As soon as we go in there, it scurries away.  We leave and two seconds later, it is back to gorging itself.


Last night, Jason almost lost his mind trying to get this tiny little mouse.  Do you know where it was?  IN MONTY'S CAGE!!!  What the fuck!?!?!?!  It was in the bottom tray feasting on bird food.  Do you think this thing torments Monty all day long?  I know it must be scared of Lola because she's a nasty bitch who fended off a pit bull once upon a time.  But poor little Monty!  I was imagining this black ops mouse chasing him around his cage all day, gobbling up Monty's almond treats before Monty got a chance to eat them.


So anyway, it would hide every time Jason came into the room and he couldn't figure out where it was going when he would come in the room.  Three times he went in and out.  And do you know where it was hiding?  Underneath the paper towels lining Monty's tray!!!  We happened to have a lead pipe sitting in the hallway (don't ask) and Jason tried to beat it to death, but it STILL got away!  He has been setting traps out at night and removing them in the morning when he feeds the birds.  And then he puts the traps out during the day when we are gone and puts them away in the evening.  This mouse is too smart for that.


So our new plan is to try to fool the mouse.  We are smarter than this mouse, dammit!  We are going to put the birds in their smaller "camp" cages and put them in another room.  Then we are going to basically line their big cages with mouse traps and hope that we finally snap its little neck.  Like we don't have enough shit to deal with in the evening after working all day.  But, wish us luck!


Oh, and do you want to know what Levi did last night when he saw it on the floor?  He ran upstairs to get in bed with me!  What a lazy ass dog!  








And stay tuned because we are currently waging war on multiple vermin fronts.  Apparently we are dumber than both mice and squirrels...