Doggie Playdate: Neptune deliriously happy, Levi pouts

At the beginning of April, we had a long overdue playdate with Andrea.  If you're new to my blog, Andrea was Neptune's foster mom and we have been friends for about two years since Jason and I tried out another one of her foster dogs, but it didn't work out.  We have had numerous playdates with Andrea and various combinations of her dogs.  I lost count, but I think she has about 11 dogs on her rural Illinois property.  She is a  dedicated dog momma and we were sad when we found out last fall that she would be moving to Wisconsin to work.  She didn't technically fully move since her boyfriend is still here and many of her dogs.  She comes back when she can and we were so excited to get together for the first time in about seven months!  


I didn't know who would be coming to this playdate and was happy to see good ol' Dink, rescued from the city pound almost two years ago.  She also brought sweet Aggie, a foster failure from when Andrea worked for Stray Rescue of St. Louis.


Neptune was overjoyed by the reunion.








Dink looked so smart with his backpack.  Our lazy dogs would likely just lay down and die if we tried putting one on them.








Aggie is a little more Levi and Neptune's speed: slow.





In fact, she kept Elsa company.








Before we got to our destination, Levi practiced his grouch face.





Neptune is so naughty when he does this, but it is pretty cute.  He just cannot contain his joy.





Heading up to the big, open field











Once at the field, Dink, Aggie, and Neptune played.











And can you just guess who was bored with the proceedings?





He did decide that Jason was a worthy playmate.











Then that pesky Dink had to come over and ruin his fun.





As you can see, the foster bond between foster mom and foster dog is never broken.





Levi cozied up to Jeff, his second favorite man.  Levi is indifferent about most people; he's just not a "people" dog.  On a scale of mailman to Jason, most people fall right in the middle.  He takes awhile to warm up and is especially wary of men.  However, after spending a weekend at Andrea and Jeff's house, he decided that Jeff is A-OK in his book.





The dogs were pooped by the end of their romp.








On the way back to the car, Neptune, in an out-of-character move, decided to wade belly-high in disgusting muddy water.  It was foul, but we still were happy to be reunited with our friends and the dogs with their friends.

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I Graduated! Picture Proof!

Less than a month before graduation, I found out I was supposed to register for a credit hour of dissertation research this semester.  Even though it was drilled into my head the last few years to take no more than 12 credits of dissertation research, I was granted an extension this semester since I was in school so freaking long. And I was apparently supposed to register for a credit.  That I had to pay for since I am no longer on an assistantship.  Do you know how much ONE credit hour costs at my university?  About $1100.  So much for my food truck graduation party.  I'm only passing along this story to give an idea of all the hurdles involved in finishing school for me.  I get that I am very lucky to have finished because I was in the dean's office about a million times this semester, usually with baby in tow, asking him to please sign another form for me, to make another exception, to add another course after the registration deadline, etc.  So I was expecting to receive an email telling me I can't graduate or that someone would jump up at the ceremony when they called my name and protest conferral of my degree.  I just couldn't believe it would actually happen.  But it did!  And I have pictures to prove it!


I was really excited to wear my fancy doctoral regalia.  I ended up buying the hood and renting the gown.  I wanted some memento of the day and a symbol of all the hard work and tears.  I found out a few days before the ceremony that my advisor would not be there to hood me.  I was disappointed because he was really there for me and saved my butt so many times over the years.  But, he was really sick, so what can you do?  Luckily, another member of my committee had two students graduating and he stepped in to do the honors.  He's a really great guy and I was happy to have him do it.  


Since I have an A last name, I was the first person to graduate out of the entire Arts and Sciences school!  The doctoral students went first and one of my good friends also has an A last name and we got to sit next to each other and talk about all the students' shoes as they walked in front of us.  For the doctoral students, the names of the dissertations were read as we were hooded.  It was interesting to hear the diversity of projects.  There was a great group graduating from my department, an end of an era, so to speak.  I am so happy I graduated too because I would have just died to see yet another set of people go on without me.  Here are some pictures from the ceremony.

First to process in

The pretty stage

Getting hooded

Yay!  No one objected!

After the ceremony, I took some pictures with my mom, Jason and Elsa.  Do you know what got me through some of the most trying times during writing my dissertation?  Thinking about Elsa wearing the very lovely dress I bought her for graduation.  I wanted to get her something special for the day and while I just wore an old dress, her dress was beautiful.  And she looked beautiful in it.





Jason wore one of my dad's ties.  I'd like to think that he was there in spirit.

Future valedictorian

I had to get a picture with my mom support system.  Two of my friends also graduated with me and one has a baby a year older than Elsa and the other one had a baby last July.  We leaned on each other a lot and were so proud to accomplish what we did while being new moms.  It wasn't easy.

Moms-as-grad students

When we got home, I had to get pictures with my boys.  As usual, Levi was all focus and Neptune was all lack of focus.  Which is why I got pictures like this with Levi:

"Fuck you, momma"

And pictures like this with Neptune:








But the picture-taking was not finished yet!  No way.  I had to make the most of that hood purchase.  Next I dragged Elsa to the park for more photos.

High-five on a job well done

Ahhh, what a great day.  I was sorry that my advisor and my sister couldn't be there due to illness, but other than that, it was perfect.  I just cannot believe I am a doctor!  I wish I could get into all the obstacles I faced during school on this blog, but it is probably not for public consumption.  I'll just say that I am proud to have finished in spite of everything and that no matter what the future brings, I hope that I can be an inspiration to Elsa, that being a girl and having a brain and using it is something to be proud of.  And that science is cool:)


Side Note:
If you're wondering about my hair (and I KNOW you are), I curled it using that no-heat method that's been going around the internet.  I have extremely thick hair and it takes forever to curl it with a curling iron, so I had to try this out.  It's only the second time I've done the method and it turned out okay.  I wrapped the front waaaaay too tightly and had to wet it down and curl it with an iron that morning, but the rest turned out well.  I would probably do it looser next time because it was a little big, but at least my hair was jazzed up somewhat for the day.

Integrating Dogs and Baby: 0-6 Months

I wanted to talk a little bit about how we have successfully integrated a baby into our dog-centric lifestyle without sacrificing our dogs' happiness.  I will break down this post into several categories.


1) Pre-baby


While I was pregnant, it was important to us to prepare our dogs for the baby's arrival as best we could.  While you can never 100% prepare or predict your dogs' behavior, we wanted to set them up for success as best we could.  That meant allowing them to investigate all new items brought into the house.  We practiced walking them with an empty stroller, turned on devices so they could see swings in motion, e.g., and allowed them to be present in the nursery while we were renovating and decorating.

{Introducing them to the stroller}

{Neptune "helping" with renovating the nursery}

{Nursery work-in-progress}

2) Hospital


When my water broke, it was the middle of the night.  We put them in their room when we went to the hospital.  While our original plan was to have my mom come take care of them that day, she was babysitting her other grandchildren that morning.  Since it was pretty clear my labor wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, Jason went home to feed and love on the boys that morning.  Then my mom slept with them the second night I was in labor.


After I delivered, Jason eventually went home later that day and brought home a blanket that had been wrapped around Elsa.  They didn't seem very interested.  We really wanted to keep their routine as normal as possible.  So, instead of Jason staying at the hospital with me for the remaining four nights I was there, he slept at home with the dogs.  I didn't really see the point of him being at the hospital with me.  My mom stayed with me for two nights, which was great since I couldn't get out of bed that first night post-C-section. I also had the nurses anytime I needed them.  Plus, Jason got some sleep being at home which worked out since he went back to work at the end of the week.


3) Bringing home baby


It was important to us that the dogs not associate my absence with this weird new creature.  When we came home from the hospital, Jason went inside to get the dogs and I greeted them in the backyard before we got Elsa out of the car.  It was interesting because Levi felt waxy and had a strange odor.  It was clear that me being gone had affected him.  I was sure to love them up before we brought Elsa inside in her car seat.  We let them sniff her in her car seat praising them because they were very good boys.


When we went inside, we got Elsa out of her car seat and allowed them to investigate further.  Obviously Levi was his usual gentle self and Neptune his usual oblivious self.  This happened minutes after we took Elsa out of her car seat.





It took no time before Jason was sitting on the couch with both dogs.  For us, the best strategy was to include them in everything baby.  They hung out with us all day, were somewhat fearful of the breast pump, and sniffed that baby to see what she was all about.  I couldn't go on even short walks for two weeks, so Jason continued to walk them every day.  Also, my awesome friend Julie, who owns Mutton Chops Pet Services, gave us five dog walking visits as a very generous gift, so we were able to take advantage of that.  After I was cleared for short walks, I joined when I could.  Walking Levi is what makes him happy, so we wanted to keep doing that for him no matter what.  Here we are all taking a walk in support of Super Levi, foster dog extraordinaire of Two Pitties and the City.  Elsa was about a month old.





In those first few weeks, we spent a lot of time just getting to know our baby.  Time spent cuddling on the couch, pretty much always joined by the dogs.  











They also just hung out in the nursery with us, which was nice when I was alone all day.  The most important rule we followed was to never leave Elsa with the dogs unsupervised, even for a moment.  

{Hanging out in the nursery}

4) Beyond the newborn


Neptune is my little buddy.  He follows me all day.  Sometimes it's annoying because Elsa is uber-distracted right now and if I'm trying to nurse her, she cannot focus if he's in the room or if she hears his footsteps,  But most of the time, I really welcome the company.  There is nothing like being alone with a baby all day, every day to make you a little nuts and even the companionship of a dog to mix things up makes you feel a little more connected.  And Elsa loves the dogs.  When we walk down the stairs and they follow, she laughs at them.  When they come into the room, she smiles.  She waves at them.  It's so freaking cute.  











Levi is around less than Neptune.  He moves from the couch to the sunny spot in his room to outside and back all day.  Sometimes he comes into the nursery, but he's not my shadow like sweet Neptune.  But Levi and Elsa still get their face time, so to speak.











Management is going to get a lot harder once Elsa starts crawling.  She really wants to touch the dogs.  Pull their hair.  It's never too early to start working on teaching her "gentle" and how we do not pull the dogs' tails and their fur.  If she is too rough, I redirect.  Just because Neptune tolerates anything doesn't mean he should have to.  If he gets up and leaves, he needs his space and I want to try to teach Elsa to respect that.  If I can't manage a situation, I use baby gates and I can shut the door.  We don't all need to be together all the time.  Levi may not like being separated from us during meal times, but too bad (we have since put up a baby gate here).





I know that I am not always going to be perfect at keeping the dogs and Elsa happy.  I can only do the best I can and hope that Elsa grows up to respect their space and that they mutually enjoy each other's company.  When I read about people who 'get rid' of their dogs (or worse) following a new baby's arrival, it makes me angry and sad.  Yes, there are times when rehoming is absolutely necessary and there are people who have done a wonderful job of finding the perfect home for their dog after they have truly explored every option.  But there are people that just don't fucking try hard enough.  Sorry to be blunt, but it's true.  I know I have two very laid-back dogs, so maybe it's easy for me.  All the people who said that our dogs would take a backseat, your dogs will become second-class citizens, blah, blah, blah-it just hasn't been true for us.  I love my dogs.   And that love has not diminished because I had a baby.  In fact, seeing Elsa's face light up and her smiles when she sees her dogs just makes me love my dogs that much more.  They are going to be the best of friends.  Our dogs still sleep with us every night, they lay on the couch, they get their walks, their playtime, their cuddles, etc.  Do they irritate me sometimes because I am home all day?  Sure.  But, that would happen whether Elsa was in the picture or not.  


I never intended for this blog to become all about baby and it's important to me to keep showing the love to my boys.  They have been so amazing since Elsa arrived and I could not have asked for anything more from them.